Why I Shun “Power Over” Approaches and Promote “Power With” Others

Black women have long been considered “mules of the world,” as described in a novel by Zora Neale Hurston, in summing up the plight and stereotype of the “strong black woman.” In Their Eyes Were Watching God, Hurston’s imagery of the mule emerges in different contexts, remaining consistent in figurative meaning as a symbol of victimization and bondage for black women, akin to being considered the lowest creature, to be used by others. No doubt, black women past and present have been put upon to take care of and manage responsibilities for diverse others throughout American history. Being considered not in need of anything just for herself, the black woman made taxing physical, psychological, spiritual and socioeconomic sacrifices in service to those presumed more important due to a racist and sexist status quo. Carrying burdens, pain, fears, insecurities, projections and fantasies of white men and women, black men and entire communities, always took a toll despite the admirable ways black women across generations rose to meet often unreasonable demands.

I am tail-end Baby Boomer who came of age on the heels of the Civil Rights movement and grew up during the era of “Black is Beautiful.” But even the exposure to positive black images in the 1970s during my teen years in Chicago, did not allow me to escape the early programming of unrealistic expectations placed on me and other black women. Somehow we got socialized to strive and take pride in the notion that “black-don’t-crack.” Our individuality…